Without Answers

I've always been the type of person that liked to know as much as I can of something, especially when it pertains to my life. I hate to be left out in the dark. I think one of the biggest lessons I have to learn right now is how to learn to live with the fact that not everything in life comes with answers.

There's been something that's been bothering me for a long time now. I've been thinking about it on and off for more than a year now. For this situation, I have no idea why things turned out the way it did. I'm at a complete loss of words for it - was it because of a third party? Was it just a change of feelings? Was it because of me? The whole process has been such a mystery for me. Now, it's not so much as what had happened that's still effecting me as much as not having had any great closure for it.

In a perfect world, I want some answers. I want to know why, how come, for what reasons. But I'm finally coming to the realization now that not everything can come with an explination. Chances are, I'll never figure what happened or what went wrong. Even if I have the opportunity to ask for a reason, a satisfactory answer might never come, or when it does, it won't matter anymore.

I have to learn to live with and accept the fact that for some things, I'll just never know why. I have to stop imagining that I will ever find out. Forget stupid dreams or promises. I need to live with reality. I need to learn to finally let go completely and be comfortable with the fact that some things are not meant to be found out.

I guess in the end, I just never realized how attached I was.