Ahhh!!!
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with overbearing parents that likes to run your life for you?? Anyone???
If my life was like a train, I feel like a passenger watching it roll by, not having any say in where I want my life to go...
If my life was like a train, I feel like a passenger watching it roll by, not having any say in where I want my life to go...
9 Comments:
ask them for advice on things they couldn't possibly be competent in, this will make them question their ability to be relevant to your life.
sheila,
i had (probably not as extreme but..) similar problems with my mom. she would always make comments about certain things trying to make me do/see things her way. one day, i simply looked at her mid-comment and told her that I was the only person that i had to please. i didn't care what she thinks is right for me, .. i only care about what i think is right for me.
she's since backed way off and has started taking a more passive role in my life...and its been much easier to go home and see her since.
Alas, I wish my case was as simple. My major problem: my parents are traditional, Victorian minded Chinese parents who thinks they have the answers to my life all figured out for me. I like to compare them to the likes of Hitler and Stalin. My only immediate remedy is to go out for a good beer...
in this case call on your grandparents to scold them
If you live your life making decisions for someone else you will end up blaming them for it later on.
I have found that, as hard as it may be, being confrontational with them about your thoughts and feelings on such issues works best(in the long run). But then again, this is subjective from parent to parent.
If nothing else helps the remedy the problem, then a visit to Austin on April 23rd will:)
I am going to pull the 'I have traditional Indian parents card and also had the luxury of being the first-born' card. Try turning down med school and dating a Jewish girl, that seemed to challenge the parentals. But seriously, they have to see that your decisions are sound and you know what's good for you and what you want in your life. When they see that you're succeeding and making wise choices, they'll slowly learn to back off. It took me 21 years to reach that point.
Hi Sheila, I definitely hear where you're coming from. Being firstborn in a traditional family is not always easy. I had super-protective parents. Sometimes it's just easier not to tell them things, or conveniently "forget". Do it enough, gradually, and it's not so hard. You have to remember that they just want what's best for you - but as they see it. You need to convince them that there are other ways to do things. I know it's tough; sometimes parents just see things in black and white and miss all the touchy-feely stuff in the middle. I suppose they probably want you to be a doctor or a lawyer too, saying that even if you don't like it at least you'll be paid well. Unfortunately, there's more to life than money; you need to ease them into that idea. No one said it was going to be easy, but at the end of the day it's your life - and as Digs said, you don't want to spend the rest of your life living out someone else's ideal.
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